winter break is gonna be like a weird mixture of rehab fat camp and holiday cheer.
I know it's not your turn to do the dishes, but since they're covered in your puke, it is.
If I had a quarter for every time I had sex in your bed while you were out of town, I would probably be a lot more willing to buy you new sheets. Hope you're having a nice vacation.
People said that when they tried to talk to me I answered that there was a glass around my head stopping me from answering them
You need to get over here. I think the drunks are about to sacrifice a chicken to the beer gods. Or a freshman. Stay tuned.
This tiny cat is tiny breathing with her tiny lungs and im having a tiny freak out. Like those lungs have to be super tiny.
Well he can play the xylophone with his erect cock... So he's got that going for him
In the wise words of Scar: "be prepared."
Do you think Scar was a Boy Scout?
I'm not sure what your ex was trying to say to me I was too busy chanting your name in his face
Plus it's a good way to scope out guys. Have them fight for you, like real males do in nature.
I mean your new thing is losing body parts and feeling colors so its not like we are hurting for entertainment
Yep. My memoirs will be called "A Slore Worth Mentioning"
I can't help you right now because I'm shaving my feet...like a lady.
It's a sad night when one of your friend texts you that she's going on a date with someone you know and then invites you to maybe have a drink after
Yeah come over whenever. Weed gets here at 8.
I'll be there at 7:59.
Randomize
