the only time it's appropriate to sing In The Air Tonight by Phils Collins is while sake bombing at Cal Beach
um or while having sex on a train
i stole $50 bucks from my girlfriends purse to pay for my other girls abortion pill...shes gonna be pissed
On the way home from Florida I threw up at the beginning border and ending border of 6 states. You win this year Spring Break.
as we were driving back from the frat house he pulled down his pants and convinced me his penis "wanted some air"
You couldve had sex with 2 drunk chicks on an alligator slide.
I just had some guy offer to eat me out on my lunch break... I think single life is getting better everyday
That penis will go down in history. It's the Helen of Troy of dicks. I will conquer it and the tale will live on for future generations to learn from
The worst thing about it is now I have to find someone else to fuck in the library.
How could you give up sex for lent? I gave up religion for lent years ago and never looked back. Or give up civility, not sex.
I taped a pair of scissors and a coupon for a waxing on the door. He gets to choose.
I think the "tmi" ship sailed a long time ago, and it took our dignities with it..
Had to leave my skype meeting to vomit. I'm obviously ready for the real world.
That portable toilet under the bed? Turns out it was a tuba. Explains alot.
He in a way got kinda cockblocked by Jesus
last night i was way too drunk and i was forcing people to let me tell them about mammals
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