dude, you're never picky with who you hook up with, have a little dignity
nah man, chicks are like pokemon, gotta catch \'em all
Just saw the first guy i ever slept with in drag. I can hear my grandfather saying "i knew she was a lesbian" somewhere
i just kept saying he was red & i was blue and we couldnt become purple. I started crying at one point
I'll be honest with you, my dick was out at that point in time.
I can't figure out how to get this beer bong in my carry on without airport security questioning me as it goes through the x-ray.
When I left you were in the shower in your socks throwing up screaming it was blood but it was "ok" cuz it's recyclable. By the way it was kool aid.
I have a very important question for you: what are some good rules to have if we want to turn the nfl draft into a drinking game?
Well for better or worse the home brew is almost done, want to get drunk/loose your sight tonight?
The highlight of the night was when he yelled "WAS THIS CONDOM MADE FOR TODDLERS??"
Because nothing screams stable like yelling at a guy in a bar because last time you hooked up he stole your underwear.
I just made kick ass drunk stir fry while taking care of three other drunk people and doing shots. I don't understand how that's not wife material
Hey know anyone who wants 58 lbs of whole frozen chickens for a couple bowls?
Can't we just go back to fucking and having your boyfriend think you're completely straight?
It was horribly awesome. Its like looking at the sun, you know its bad for you but I just couldn't stop looking.
He stood up through the sunroof yelling "CHOCOLATE MILK BITCHESSSS!!!! YOU AIN'T WORTH SHIT NOW!!!" the sad part is he wasn't even drunk yet. I worry about him sometimes.
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