if my vagina gave out awards, he should be preparing acceptance speaches for the oscar, the heisman and the nobel peace prize.
This kid is too lonely to be my drug dealer.
He put used condom on the handle of the plunger in the bathroom.
Please God, is a penis possibly making it to vagina town to much to ask for tonight.
He bought a sex swing! He's building the playground of my dreams!!!!
At some point, it turned less into sparring and more into tough guy dry humping.
I knew it was going to be good when he took off my bra and I only realized 5 minutes later
On way back. With a shopping cart. Minimal casualties.
And regarding bottomless mimosas stopping at 1 pm, there was a chick who drove her car into the back of the bar. Blame that bitch, not you peeing in the koi pond.
I have bruises from doing the splits on the poles, if that doesn't scream bourbon street regret then I don't know what does
I tried to break it off with the married one. He offered to pay off my car.
The side bitch struggle is real.
I didn't pay $79 for lingerie for you to cum in 30 seconds
Sorry if that was awkward, i will never call you sober ever again
He couldn’t find my clit with a map. Literally. I drew him a map.
You had blacked out Skype sex? Wow we live in the future
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