i'm surrounded by gay midgets. not sure if i'm bragging or asking you to come rescue me. wait for follow up.
so this guy on craigslist is offering a case of beer to shave his back. i think i'm gonna take him up on it.
i am doomed to only fuck guys with curved cocks
apparently the dude across the street has been dead for like a month. now I feel bad about pissing on his lawn
Things got a little weird when he fired up his homemade flamethrower in the living room.
I don't want to talk about her cat for two hours only to dry hump till I'm blistered. Not worth it.
She is high at the bar - she thinks the bottle of frangelico is aunt jemima telling her to stop doing drugs.
How much do you charge for your Funyun and beer delivery service?
it was like a shit fog rolling out of the east to encompass me and have it's way with me
The cops spotted my on my walk of shame down the boardwalk and gave me a ride home. I'm starting to make a name for myself here.
I feel like my sexual preferences are just another sign that I am a 75 year old drag queen in a 29 year old woman's body.
My boobs keep hanging out of this shirt. I think thats the style I'm going for tonight
I found a 9 minute video on my phone of you singing into an eggplant.
He just went to a job interview a sharpie moustache drawn on his face..
Shame is for Republicans.
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