i was just lookin through my fb pics and i think im with a cat in like 40% of them..: how sad is my life
what kind of vibe do I give off that a guy i've never hung out with thinks its okay to send me a picture of his ball cleavage?
Let's perk you up. I have a good PG joke and a picture of my penis while urinating. You pick.
all i wanna do is slam about 38 beers eat a whole pizza and wake up naked in the taco bell parking lot
she's sitting here naked with heels and a taco.
Hate the very realistic pregnancy dreams. Like my dream when I birthed the pirate ships. SO REAL...
You didn't know it was a gay bar until the 7th guy rejected you. You were crying because you thought it was just a bad night. No more for you.
Dude, they're still mid-coitus. Pretty sure running in to high five my roommate mid-thrust is a mood-breaker.
Sometimes i think i need to stop drinking because i can't afford losing so many panties anymore
Drinking wine from a straw at 6:15 in the morning. This is what college does to people.
Hypothetically speaking - is it bad if you get cut off at an airport bar at 11:30am?
BUT DID YOU RIDE THAT DICK INTO THE SUNSET THO?
His balls will have been in my mouth at least once by this time tomorrow.
spent the night holding naked strippers up for keg stands and doing endless amounts of body shots. good game 8am final exam.
whats an extra semester when you've already been in college for 6 years?
I don’t care that he’s a decade younger. He’s cute and I need a good penising
Randomize
