Just saw a policeman use his lights to go through a red light only to turn them off and go to Sonic...
i actually looked down at my cock today and said "whoa buddy, you need a haircut....(grimace) and a shower"
Wednesdays are like the thursdays of tuesdays... Drink time
Worst night here by far. And ive slipped in my own piss so thats saying something
I was the one passing out cake at the bars
Phone sex soon? I mean date. Sex date. Date phone.
all 3? possibly?
I think I'm up to the challenge.
He said I could liberate his beef and all I could think about was how I don't eat veal for political reasons.
Next time you think about divorce, consider this: a hot guy just walked in and I tried to suck in my back fat.
see that vagina ? that vagina means business
She just left someone a voicemail saying 'you better not have plans Saturday night, cause I'm going to sit on your face.'
Lol if he questions who I am I'm gonna send him a pic of his boxers
Terrible idea I love it
I got a lap dance in honor of your birthday last night.
Thank you.
theres a video...
oh god.
All I want to do is lay in my bed and eat hotdogs
Nice classy night out before we roll our faces off
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