What kind of poor, pathetic town do we live in where a horny teenage girl is sitting in her basement on a saturday night, unlaid?
I woke up with my 26er down my pants and a peice of paper stuck to my forehead with gum that said "tell it to the greek goddess beside me"
My sole motivation for showering this morning was to masturbate. Something is wrong here...
she broke up with me using backstreet boy lyrics
you deserved it if you knew it was backstreet boys.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She just told me she blew the waiter in the bathroom. Should I still leave a tip?
No worries you cant actually turn into a wine snob if you brew it in your closet....
Saw my boss's vagina at that party. Hung over at work has never been more acceptable
Her mom walked into the garage as we were smoking a kush blunt with sombreros on.
I walked from the hotel to the club with a pint of tequila in my boot. Poured some in a homeless woman's mouth when she asked for change. I've hit rock bottom.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I would like you to know I am eating your apology chocolate, which means i forgive you for puking everywhere before formal
I'm like going proud parent over you doing drugs, this is so wrong.
I forgot to lock the bathroom door. He walked in, saw me on the toliet, nodded, and walked back out.
Send me a picture of our booze closet. I'm homesick.
I rocked his world in the back of my car in an overly-lit, heavily trafficked parking lot. Middle age is amazing!
It's almost like he's actually taking my commentary and criticism to heart, but simultaneously succumbing to some primal urge to wear less clothing each time.
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