Sooo i definitely have a major burn on my chin from kenny's ...stubble from making out for hours while coked up. Pure class.
I am currently trying to use a tide to go pen to remove the jizz from my backseat, it's not working...
its a sex-hate relationship...no love involved
His foreplay reminded me too much of breastfeeding.
Well someone has to be the Christmas slut at the family dinner. I suppose it's my year to fill those shoes.
Remember middle school health class where we used to say that when we lost our vcards we would be on the pill, using a condom, and have had our partners tested first? We were so optimistic.
He called me while he was having sex and asked if I wanted to go get mcdonalds
drinking from the bathtub cause I'm too lazy to walk downstairs and too thirsty to care
He was twisted. Literally. It's like God took his dick with a pair of pliers and gave it a half twist to the left.
No he's here. We were watching Harry Potter stoned as shit and he fell asleep with his head in my lap. I'll figure out what to do with him after Harry gives Dobby the sock.
I didn't even mind that he came early I just wanted to get eaten out and cuddle
I'm sitting in my car avoiding a customer. Apparently the new year hasn't affected my attitude nor work ethic
I can't believe I watched you put a tampon in in the parking garage
I wish I could open myself up and check on my liver. Make sure it's hanging on. Ya know?
If he doesn’t slap your ass with his drumsticks, then I don’t wanna hear about it.
Randomize
