Exactly. I don't do penetration on the first date. Blowjobs however are perfectly acceptable.
I encourage the greeting beej. It determines if the dick is worth keeping around.
she took out her dip, threw up, and put it back in. it was like a scene from Nick and Nora's trip to the trailer park.
hickory dickory dock, please dont tell me about your cock
Just saw 3 10-year olds in business suits drinking iced coffees at the cafe. I'm officially a failure if these kids have jobs and I don't.
On a scale of one to Chris Brown, how angry are you?
You know you hit rock bottom when you make out with a guy named after a cereal.
His hands were made for my vagina.
Your shoe was in the washing machine. I have it in my pocket. My phone rang before and I answered your shoe. Meet me at the bar in 10.
You were drunk it couldn't have been that bad
I've never been drunk enough to enjoy getting a blister on my dick.
you just cant say you love him and then say you want to fuck your boss
I was chasing disarono with Bacardi and watching ice cube movies. It would have been an epic birthday if I wasn't by myself and actually had some decent friends.. Hint. Asshole.
Today would have been my 8th wedding anniversary and I woke up with a hot European guy in my bed. Divorce has it's perks.
Micheal let me call him captain america while we fucked. It was awesome
I know this shouldnt be a problem, but there are too many women hitting on me. I dont know what to do
Remember that pair of super cute shorts I pooped in? I miss those 😔
Randomize
