Do you know how when animals have surgery they put those cones around their heads so they can't lick their wounds so they can heal? I think someone should invent that for human emotions.
yea and when she crawled to her room she yelled at a bookbag to "get the fuck out my way"
if you can see her tanning goggle line that's officially a deal breaker
She just dipped a dollar bill in her queso dip and almost ate it before I slapped it out of her hand, no more bar crawls..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just made a steamroller out of a christmas ornament. I feel so festive.
Just got a blowjob on the pier where my great-grandfather entered America.
That's fun. I just masturbated and I swear my vagina creaked.
They sat at the bar while we waited for a table. When the hostess came to seat us, they were shitfaced, and swordfighting wth chop sticks.
You're a disgrace to the female race and the love triangle and halloween.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is it acceptable to cry on a Friday or am I supposed to drink to forget it?
Better safe and shitfaced than hungover and in need of another surgery.
In unrelated news guys should not ask what I'm doing/wearing if they can't handle an honest answer. I'm not pretending I'm not sitting on the couch in yoga pants watching Community so you can beat off.
Also you can't just sext a Michelle quote from Full House.
I woke up in my bed with candy and beer bottles all around me and i dont know where any of it came from. I love valentines day.
did i tell you guys i finally 69’d for the first time last night? just thought the group chat should know.
Randomize