his text ended with ... everyone knows dot dot dot equals infer sexy time
I wish life was like the Sims. Right when you're pregnant the music would play and I would just know instead of agonizing for the next two weeks.
I'm buying a pregnancy test with my lunch money. Classy.
Haha im about to meet my shrink &i have so much shit to tell him i made an outline
I have no idea where we are. But it doesn't look dirty so I don't think we are in jersey yet
If we see one freshman that cummed on me, we are leaving.
You were naked too, so it cancels out. We're straight.
I could be busy drinking my face off and getting red white and bruised per usual
It's cuz all she eats is salt lick, human souls, and fast food
You are cordially invited to an I'm not pregnant laser tag celebration tomorrow. booze is optional.
He went to 7/11 first and came back with condoms and a banana "in case we get hungry"
He snorted adderall on my table. I have a feeling he's not trying to buy me flowers
Saw the Peanut butter guy at checkout he had at least 30 containers of it and like 6 different kinds...
I swear to god, I'm like....the Jedi master of dick.
I am putting clothes on to go find a brownie
In my experiences, brownies are better naked.
Randomize
