It is pretty awful out and I still haven't put on pants yet.
I just woke up in the coolest sweatsuit i have ever seen..it has cory's name on the tag...do we know a cory?
we were pretty classy up until the second keg
He offered to take me out to a nice dinner but I told him I would rather he just pay for my beer this weekend
HOnestly. That's my one goal for this whole trip. I don't give a shit about souvenirs or sand. I want penis.
its taking every last moral i have not to steal this bike
you still have morals?
Well actually itd just be too hard to ride the bike with this large rake i just stole
I tried giving you a bj last night and all you could manage was "Haha that tickles" and "in the morning"
I'm going to make out with someone. I'm on a mission. I don't even care if I'm wearing beer goggles. As long as he's not shorter than me, gay, or a woman.
You were greeting everyone with " Hi I'm Jess show me your dick" whether they were dudes or not.
Is it bad if I just put band-aids over my nipples? Way too hungover be dealing with a bra
I swear going to your house is like going to a strip club, no matter what happens I get glitter on me.
I'm at that stage of drunk where just imagining having sex makes me motion sick.
I have hobbies that aren't destroying myself and others...i can make hats.....
I'm really interested in the size of his penis so report back on that one
Did you put my shoes in the freezer.
Nope. I did however put them in the kiddie pool you pissed in in the living room before Tyler put them in the freezer. Ass hole.
Randomize
