If you think im a hippy you should see these girls. They would scissor mother nature if they had the chance.
just to let you know, don't open your linen closet for a while until i come over with a cleaning kit and geek squad
you walked into the kitchen holding the skyy bottle and asked us "how do i warm this?"
I wanna tell red shirt guy I'm pregnant and use the abortion money for Coachella.
Just used the salt in the bottom of my mcdonalds bag from last night on the eggs i made this morning. Way too hungover for this
sorry for throwing an entire water bottle of vodka at you. It was very wasteful
For once I'd like to have a Taco Sunday without having some random drunk chick flee my house half naked and in tears.
Found a 10-can wizard staff hidden in our closet. Did we cut someone off?
That's yours. We cut you off.
Periouds do not concern me. Biploogival needs are buological needs.
What kind of gift says: "I love you because you're my mom & I'm obligated to, but I don't like you" ?
U know when u get really drunk and u don't think anyone can see what your doing? If I'm that drunk the possibilities are endless
When are you going to accept the fact he is gay?
Come on... He's just practicing.
Ok. That's acceptable.
Im quite confident that my struggle with sobriety ended last night sometime after dinner
I have 2 bottles of wine, a sharpie, and a panda mask and don't have to wake up early. Can u do the math on this?
I mean she's doing calculus in her head to prove how NOT drunk she is.
Randomize
