Knee deep in strippers, everything is comped. will try hard to be there at 8. i promise.
you dialed the number "23" then talked to it for three minutes
Our teacher totally just got outed in class by a speaker from some lesbian cooperative house
No, I stopped taking my meds because I like crazy me better
I don't think I can handle being a slut. There is a lot more emotional stress that I never realized.
It's only 11:30 and she's already making friends with the homeless...
You better be coming back...your date is passed out in a shrub in my backyard and I'm pretty sure her shirt is on my kitchen floor
so the x-ray technician didnt buy my story of falling off a curb. she said a fall of that height couldnt snap the bone that way. bitch called me a drunken idiot too. if she wasnt so hot i'd be angry
What people don't tell you about near death experiences is they give you a full on chub
WHAT IS ALL THIS WATER BOTTLE FLIPPING NONSENSE? WHAT IS LIT?
YOUTHS.
I'm driving to work hungover. I feel like I got hit by a train and then drank that train too.
I got wing sauce on the baby and licked it off. If you were wondering how I'm doing.
Dude. Craziest ride ever. I was convinced that the bus was an airplane. There were clouds when I looked out the window. I got really upset every time the bus turned because airplanes shouldn't turn.
3 hour lecture of my biology teacher talking about isotopes and space shuttles. I'm way too high for this.
No. I'm home alone and 100% dickless. I hate my life.
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