I just peed in my kitchenbs sinlk. New low- maybe. am i embarrassed? Not in the least
I'm pretty sure "Like A Prayer" will forever remind me of drunk nights & pants down around the ankles
I just looked at my iPhone gps history... "the gas station", "the park with a big scary fence", "the trampoline", and, my favorite, "where we were when we were about to do lines off a bible".
In all fairness I did warn the guy I just spray tanned before we had sex so I hold no responsibility for the bronzer all over his sheets
Experimentation with dessert toppings followed by shower sex. Only logical progression bro.
What's the politically correct way of saying you've made someone your bitch?
I think you're going to have to drive me to white haven. I don't know if my brain can handle having my mom drop me off at a strip club.
Would "deck the halls with penises " be an appropriate event title? I know peni is the plural but flow of the tongue as well
This is a mass text. First one to reply gets head.
Before anyone claims this, this chick is in my boyfriend's phone as "Worst BJ EVER!"
Does that mean you're calling dibs or can I?
Medically speaking as your gynecologist and your girlfriend, that is not a rash.
And we're breaking up
lost her for two hours. she was banging a russian guy in her car in the parking lot. he told her she was majestic.
I'm adopting to save the world from the moral outrage that would be my offspring
I love you more than sex with randoms.... and we all know how much I love that shit.
You wanna explain to me why there is a banana shoved down my pants?
like sometimes I wish I was allergic to latex so I wouldn't have sex with so many people..
Randomize
