everyone who works at gamestop is basically destined to live with their parents for the rest of their lives... so i said no.
I couldn't remember if it was hamsters or Iraq that you hated. I'm so sorry.
I woke up this morning with my hair wrecked, a split lip, and an "H" on my right knee and a "I!" on my other knee.
She's good at three things and two of them involve dicks. And other one involves her love for arts
We should live in a duplex and just hook up with randoms for the rest of forever and be animal hoarders.
The thing is that despite the high paying career and the increased responsibility, my life hasn't changed that much. Only instead of blacking out on $2 wells at some dive I blackout on top shelf martinis in a suit. Oh and only on Fri & Sat nights. Being 30 doesn't suck as bad as everyone led me to believe.
Seriously. All i can say is im covered in mud, my jaw hurts, i cannot straighten my arm, egg is everywhere, and there is a dead squirrel.
My entire summer has consisted of being too drunk for this shit, too sober for this shit, or too hungover for this shit.
We're not on Beacon Street anymore so now your argument about not peeing on the sidewalk holds no water. Whereas my bladder has holded every water.
It was like an ecstasy filled massage for my vagina.
That's the best compliment I have ever received.
i threw up in his garden in front of like five people smoking a joint. they let me have a hit after i was done so it was okay
Let's go one conversation without mentioning cats or alcohol someday.
apparently when a guy says "if there's anything missing in your life, I will provide" he's not expecting attractive lesbians to be the answer.
I was so drunk last night I asked a rando at the bar to take a picture with me cause I thought he was in the band
THREE MINUTES! THREE MINUTES PAST MIDNIGHT I STSRT HEARING CHRISTMAS MUSIC ON THE OVERHEAD PA SYSTEM!!!
Randomize
