Alarm just got pulled in my exam
Swear it wasn't me
community service is like the breakfast club... except we're all the criminal.
were talking about masturbation in my pysc class. He says it's healthy. I'm gonna live forever
I just added her as a friend on Facebook. I met her 5 minutes ago and there are already more than 50 pics of me uploaded... from other nights.
Even when three police cars surrounded us you kept telling us not to worry because 'only good things can happen'.
all i could think was her face looked like a farm accident
I'm pretty sure we put the facepaint on during whippets
I drank half a bottle of wine while watching the Olympics opening ceremonies. I catcalled at handsome athletes. Stop me.
We had a deepthroating contest with breadsticks at Olive Garden
I couldn't drink enough to fuck the friend, you said challenge accepted and stole some chicks shot.
Hey by the way did you notice my third nipple in my snapchat
I think after tonight I'm 85% lesbian
No we didn't fuck. He picked me up I asked where we were going and he said "I don't know if you've ever heard of a little place called Denny's?" He was completely serious. I told him to stop the car and I got out and called Jack.
I talked to his mom for a good 10 minutes with coke all over my nose. Not the best first impression
Heard about your divorce. Let me know if I can do anything for you or your penis ;-)
Randomize
