Just because i have a masturbation problem doesnt mean you can put 20 photos of Jesus in my room.
I just remembered yelling "they're gonna let me be a lawyer! Me! Why would they do that?"
Well the party says they're going to have three kegs and four trampolines. I think I'm going to invite my EMT buddies just to be safe.
And for your info. Don't pee outside with glow sticks. People will still see you.
He said he wanted to go to France " just to piss in the nice areas". I want to fuck him.
I just look @ having a child spit on you as another form of birth control. I think my ovaries just tied themselves in a knot.
I just got three pairs of underwear free and a bathing suit for $20 by modeling them and letting the salesman grope me a bit.
It's great being a young gay man in Chicago!
I'm not allowed to have sex with him again. My vagina joined in on the protest. There was a petition. All my body parts signed it.
He tried to tell me that that stripper was his aunt..
I had a drinkin contest with a person that didnt exsist, fuck withdrawl day
Hold on are you sure that we dont have another roommate?
Yes.
your were asleep with people making out on top of you. you didn't even look bothered by it.
I just got his Save the Dave and, to answer your next question, NO I AM NOT GOING TO THE WEDDING OF THE GUY WHO GOT DRUNK AND CAME ON MY CHEST.
I just got yelled at by a stripper for being a tease.
im going to smoke a cigarette and reflect on my life choices
Man I just realized that my only life problem right now is that I have to convince myself not to fuck a 19-y-o
Randomize
