I totally give up. Optimus Prime just fell from the top of the Great Pyramid into the hypostyle hall at Karnak.
found some acid from a couple months ago while looking through christmas lights. Looks like santa came early this year.
i think you know its gunna be a bad day when it starts with throwing up into a red plastic cup
she was home schooled till college. were she learned how to give the most amazing blowjobs is still a mystery.
The kid taped his penis down so that he wouldn't get a boner while dancing with girls. Oh these middle school man whores never cease to amaze me.
What's the rule on cocaine before dinner?
Its 11 o'clock somewhere
This whole situation could've been avoided if you would've just let me open the beer
All I remember is waking up with 3 penises pointed at my face. I also remember enjoying that a lot. And then I threw up in their shower.
$645 later, she's throwing up in my washroom and asking for a cab. Hooker are soooo much cheaper.
She was eating leaves off of trees and saying it was salad, and even told a guy in passing that her favorite color was plaid.
the guy I've been trying to get with saw my brother's genitals before he saw mine, so that's my life.
We drove through Taco-Bell on our way to the ER
Does your balding hurt less when a 19 year old holds your hand?
honestly i've never been more attracted to you than when you threw up on my floor
I was simply suggesting that you really should try coke bondage sex.
Randomize
