come over i need a lifeguard for my shower
He asked if I wanted to leave my bra on while we were doing it from behind bc he read somewhere that all that pounding can be painful for big breasts. THAT thoughtful.
Your place is a magnet for either righteous parties or crippling alcohol dependency. Lets find out which together
I sent him an 18 page sext. He's going to have a good morning.
the guy sitting next to me at the bar has a patrick swayze tattoo hovering over a roast beef sandwich. 'merica.
Might I also add after my boss threw up in the garbage can and yelled puking rally, he dougied, then told me I wasn't about that life.
I actually want to work out for some reason... I think it's my brains way of telling me it doesn't like living in a fat body.
Last night dinner was cinnamon buns and whiskey. At least tonight I had a fajita with my cookies and tequila. I may be a little stressed about these end of semester tests.
Did I really drink that whole bottle of Jack Daniels last night?
Heroically.
I had sex on a dinosaur comforter, tell me that does not define my life.
So is it safe to say that my only objective from last night is to finish this entire jar of peanut butter?
You were dancing to the Bee Gees, at 3am, with a piece of ham on your head. Moral of the story, You can't drink.
Gonna be late for work. Sex comes first. Priorities.
Love that I’m sending my uber driver a thank you message for taking me home via mcdonalds tonight before I’m messaging my date from tonight! Lol
He ate me out in a limo while we were driving home. I love bars being open again!
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