just by requesting 'I think we're alone now', not only did you achieve emptying the bar, but you also rubbed it in the owners face.
You all can go fuck yourselves. As far as I'm concerned, don't come back to karaoke.
I'm pretty sure God is rooting for me with this two gf thing
Some random slut told me I was a good dancer then gave me a handjob. I felt like fucking John Travolta.
i leave for school in 3 days. if you want your annual goodbye blow job you should probably call me
i just wanna lock my vagina in a safe filled with bandaids and healthy things
I am the master of subtle flirting. I seduced him by simulating a hand job with an epi-pen during training.
dude there's no way we're going back in there for your puke shoes
Delete that photo of me. My ass looks WAY to good it in to be on Facebook for everyone to see. You gotta earn that shit.
I'm gonna get drunk in the shower and yell at my parents during dinner. Have fun in Texas.
Oh god I want to come home! They have an air raid siren here that alerts their neighbours across the desert it's time to come over on atvs and drink.
Single lady's Saturday night: eat doritos, masturbate, eat more doritos. Do shot of Jager. Repeat until desired result is achieved.
Tip: never mention Guy Fieri during sex
WELL THEN WHAT DAY IS IT?!?! This whole having to choose between ruining my future and ruining my liver is totally killing my vibe
No no. Thank you. Killed multiple birds with one penis.
Randomize
