she must wash her vagina with a dirtier vagina
not sure what i find more disconcerting, your text or the fact that i recognized that as a dane cook quote
You're such a slut.
I prefer opportunist.
Have you ever made a sandwich from swedish fish and tortilla chips?
she said shes getting her period tomorrow so she wants to have sex now. i didnt object. it would have been heartless.
ofcourse you didnt.
Is it bad that we're talking like nothing happened?
Ah. Blossoming love after wild blackout drunk sex.
I drank all the drinks. And jump off roof. Yay
Judging by my bruises, I know I took more than one tumble. I probably pulled u down w me, and then punched you in the knee. Been trying to find a place to fix my phone between naps today. Almost no place accepts hand js as currency these days. 2013 is gonna be expensive and whorey.
There is nothing quite so awkward as watching topless bullriding with your mother next to you..
I feel like he has a double life, why was he walking around at 3 am with a backpack?
I was so gone I thought the cops banging on my door were kids from the party trying to get into my room... needless to say, I started moaning louder so they would take the hint.
I'm gonna eat more dunkaroos to cope with what's in my vagina.
So I've reached a new low. After completing my walk of shame and being told "see you around", I took off my heels to discover he had came in my shoe.
bitch dont make me pour hotsauce in your vagina
Wait... so you had sex and then your ear drum ruptured? I'm not sure if I want to ask if the two are related...
I feel like I got hit by a car. But a small car, like a Beetle or a Mini or something.
Randomize
