I just came up with the perfect plan. Once i'm a dentist i'm going to offer dad a million dollars to divorce mom.
dude my 8 year old cousin is allowed to drink wine coolers. as long as its infront of my aunt. wtf
You tried to sled down the middle of the street. In. Your. Coat. Of course you are bruised.
The orgasm outlasted the Charlie horse. Pros and cons.
His best friend's cat died so we had a drunken burial ceremony on the side of his condo at 2am and I'm pretty sure if anyone gets ahold of the video feed from Martini Monday we're all fired.
She's just done the monthly not prego dance around our kitchen
Is it rude if I don't go?
No. It is not rude if you don't go to her cat's Star Wars themed birthday party.
Today I'm playing this game called how physically long can I Lay in this one spot before moving, do you have an estimated time of departure?
somebody went from crying while watching Full House, to a full on emotional raging bull...I love this time of the month
Just got referred to as "the girl from Tuesday night" at the Taco Bell drive thru...what happened on my birthday?!
I made the last cup in beer pong off the dude's hat. I also faintly remember rapping Forever by Drake during said game.
I accidentally left my shirt at my booty calls house. He washed it & hung it up for me in his closet. I can't decide if that's sweet or creepy
I'm just imagining Oprah like "you're popping a boner, and you're popping a boner...EVERYONE IS POPPING A BONER"
how drunk are you?
Several
But if you move out who will get drunk with me on the roof and yell at boys?!?
Randomize
