Every time a guy reaches down to touch my vag, i feel really sorry for all the transgender girls who still have a penis there.
That's weird cause every time i feel a girls vag i feel way worse for all the guys who reached down there and got a penis.
hot ketchup is not a substitute for marinara
She is the perfect woman. She cooks, gives good head and doesn't care that I have a small penis.
When they saw it was the 7th inning of the baseball game one took off running for the beer stand while his friend is yelling "BUY THE KEG"!
Guy in our group took down a chick in a wheelchair last night.
ugh he was not leaving in the morning so i tried to scare him by crying and saying i wasnt ready to lose my virginity.
Alright dude i'm gonna go to go sleep off this soberness. my life is a cosmic joke
I told him he was a man of science and that he should conduct experiments on my tits to see how they stay up. I need you to hold onto my larynx when I'm drunk.
you peed off the balcony at your sisters and asked someone below to catch it with a cup
Sorry about all of the penis things that happened last night.
turns out it took a Belgian couchsurfer dressed as Heisenberg to rock my world.
Strip club, what strip club did I eat a steak at? That's the appropriate question
I had a sex with someone last night and I was so drunk. i told him to tell me his whole name so I can say it back to him in a "sexy" way.... Because I forgot it
Only thing that feels right is being horizontal in the fetal position
So I'm never gonna get to see you again?
Hopefully.
Randomize
