thanks for stopping by when you did. making a meatball quesadilla while high was a bad choice
Once again there IS no outside bathroom. Never has been, that is the balcony
im taking a nap outside. wake me up in an hour.
way to go to work and not wake me up. when you get home youre rubbing me with aloe and giving me a blowjob. no excuses
Ice skating? Did you see me last night? I don't even know where my socks are
Left and drinking by a bar by myself. Everyone is in pajamas. I'm in a tuxedo. This is my life.
Either way, we will celebrate half Christmas the only way we can. Completely and irresponsibly wasted.
When you wake up so hungover that you don't even wanna cough for fear of vomiting... It's not gunna be a good day.
Either your boy toy or the kid who pulled a knife on me in high school is here
Just had my very first high conversation with mom
And you survived it! I'd say that earns you a "Blaze It Like a Real Adult" from the Grown-up Girl Scouts
I just kept thinking.. Holy shit. We're fucking in my front yard.
I went to Christian school in the 90s. I can finger blast anything, but dignity.
My concern for you and peanut butter is the reason I am still awake.
Bruh, I wanna absorb into the deck.
I wanna become a plank.
God I love xanex.
well i blew him then my wife blew him, so im guessing we'll be seeing him around, yeah
Just peed on the front lawn of the capital building. Great American.
Randomize
