He is an equal opportunity slut.
My roommate found me crawling down the hallway as she was on her way to her morning class. Its time for a new semester.
I think it is impossible 2 take a person seriously when their last name is Pancake
He warned me he may piss the bed. I'm oddly okay with this.
Yes, that was me on the jumbo tron. No, i don't know why i was hiding.
You are beautiful! I got thrown out of a bar tonight for throwing my shoe. It was at my sister, I don't know why they were mad. I know her.
I'll tell these girls I'm like the pet adoption center...don't play with it if you're not taking it home.
If graduating leads me to stop getting naked at inappropriate times in public places I'm going to be pissed
You can cross "give someone a blow job while playing Colors of the Wind" off my bucket list.
Our innocent game of 'Duck, duck, booze.' ended up not being so innocent
I consented to having my finger branded. How was your night?
Why are there hooting douchebags outside my building? Did a sport happen again?
Bro. Some kids just drive-by judged the shit outta me.
I'm trying to get WebMD to diagnose me with a hangover
Last night she walked off and disappeared from everyone got home at 330 and said she went to the casino with her cab driver.
Randomize
