The nurse told me they're using the same medicine that killed michael jackson.
He had a cowboy hat I don't know where from and he was trying to lasso a snowman with a dog leash.
If I had a penis, I would stick it EVERYWHERE. I don't know what these guys are doing.
I think the best part was when you jumped over me naked.
You fought the bouncer and lost, then challenged a hobo to a 40 chugging contest and lost. Sobriety is a good life choice.
The next time i black out make sure i remove the ping pong balls from my weave. Especially before my first day of classes.
Don't you dare blame me for walking in one walking in on ur fuck session....u decided to fuck where we hid our booze
I wore sweatpants. When I show up to a booty call in sweatpants there's your warning
don't pay it forward
I eont pay shit forward. told a stranger to call an abulance and peaced
Sorry I don't make house calls. You wanna get blown you come over here. It's like rock paper scissors but vagina ALWAYS beats penis
Im currently watching two girls making out. In the library. Hope your studying is going as good as mine is. Haha
If it makes you feel any better about life I'm wearing yoga pants with granny panties and toms with socks cause fuck my life
You're just a heartbreaker with a knitting problem
I walked out and he was covered in jelly, slithering around the floor. I don't know how to process that.
Pretty sure if we keep hanging out on Tuesdays there will be no whiskey left for the younger generations or the universe will implode....tomato tahmato
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