Should I have kids to fix a relationship??
you ever fart during an orgasm? feels like u just lost 10 pounds
i used the pictures of vaginas in your biology book to jack off.
Do you ever go through someone elses pictures and just appreciate the fact that youre not really friends with them?
So dude, she and I just got done having the most amazing sex, and then she rolled over and said that "lets make some tacos" and proceeded to the kitchen... naked... I'm buying the ring tomorrow
Even the French judge on the olympics would give that a 10
I just made my bed perfectly before realizing that I'll be too drunk to appreciate it tonight
Pretty sure that Albanian broad gave me something last night. Now we play the waiting game.
I almost had to get my pinky cut off. Wow I'm so happy. We won beer olympics so i didnt hahaha
just got in my apt...and theres jungle juice here i left from over a month ago..this could be interesting...or deadly
I choose McDonald's breakfast at 1:28am over sex anytime
I'm drunk in a place called Lick-A-Chick. PS. It's not a lesbian hot spot, they sell chicken.
just woke up on the floor of my shower...it was still runnning
So who left their underwear on a lamppost in my aunt's backyard
found a note from drunk me saying "don't worry i fed the mice". WHAT MICE?
He picked me up in Smart Car with the license plate “MYWHIP.” I think my ovaries shriveled up and died.
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