It's 10am, I'm at grocery store buying booze b/c the bf just told me that he didn't "technically" break up with his ex.
I'm gonna write a book, Things that go bump in the night: The story of Katelyn. Chapter one, my roommate is a dumb whore.
bet u 5 dollars u can't guess were i woke up this morning
oh god.. jail?
better, on the catwalk of the auditorium
There's people holding up abortion signs everywhere. I guess the people of Florida want you to remember you fucked up on Spring Break.
Well hello freshman 15, didn't see you there until I tried on last years summer clothes.
You kept whispering, no one does me like Jimmy Johns does me.
I think throwing up in my her purse is probably why we broke up
I miss the good ol' days when we would yell at strangers from your balcony while wearing our mexican ponchos in the middle of the day.
what ever happened to our old dealer?
That was the first time I have seen a confused expression with a dick in the mouth
why is there a fishing net hanging from my ceiling fan?
It feels like one of my ribs evaporated.
I smoked all his weed and he hasn't noticed yet. But I might need a place to crash when he does
It's not even 8:30a, wine glass is broken, there's sugar everywhere, and your mom just asked me what MILF means.
Woke up at 8am and asked if she had coffee.... She handed me a shot of tequila...
I visited the library for the first time in my college career tonight and I got laid. I think I'm gonna come back...
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