This is evicking siegelnvs
Im sorry?
This is fucking ridiculous*
You know it's time to leave Spain when you are back and forth between Skype and a Spanish dictionary trying to figure out out to say "I can still smell you on my skin."
I have found the one flaw to the great pride I took as a guy to not have to sit down to pee...having to sneeze while peeing.
you sent me 45 texts saying "meow?"
did i?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Eric and I got kicked off of karaoke last night. Apparently, singing about masturbation to the tune of "A Whole New World" is not appropriate and definitely frowned upon by the DJ.
He was trying to put his hand up my shirt but I remembered the coke was stashed in my bra so I moved his hand to my pants
there comes a time in a mans life when you ask yourself, will i fake love for blowjobs? and the answer is always yes
BABIES FOR EVERYONE. I'd be like Oprah except with babies
We're both great liars, in committed relationships, and horny. Its the perfect storm of cheating
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
They're magnificent. It's like god made her last but hadn't fulfilled his boob quota.
i'm gonna friendzone myself so you dont have to
He literally poured blue Gatorade on me after we had sex and said "good game" all over my white sheets
If those panties could talk.
"Once upon a time, Jenny got chlamydia from a magician. The end."
WE ARE DOING DRUGS AND GOING TO THE STRIP CLUB SATURDAY LADIES
Well, if you do die, I'll bedazzle your coffin.
Randomize