didnt we say no more talking to eachother
it will help you get over me i promise
im horny
ok i will unlock the door
so later when i'm crying over him remind me that he once called his penis "senor weeper"
i wish i could "like" people's thoughts in real life like i can on facebook
you can....by speaking....
i just googled "who won the civil war" . how can i still have a 97% in this class?
Just woke up on a dolphin floaty wearing only a party hat. There's blood on the side of the pool and glass in the sauna. Worst fucking hangover. But some guy said he is making crepes so its ok
My bra broke.... so I Macguyvered that shit together with floss
Best morning ever. I saw a bum giving another bum a blowjob downtown.
Just woke up and my doorbell is on my nightstand... the fuck?
Im going to hell in a hand basket. With a ribbon tied to my head. I'll be like a puppy for the devil.
It's like getting ready for my vaginas own execution
I got so stoned last night I thought I was in second grade again
Whether ya want it or not, it's gonna happen. Assimilate to the gay
Seriously considering modifying my computer case so it can dispense wine. I need to make a bunch of changes and reorganize it's guts anyway....
One of the Mormon boys that comes to the door is really sexy and I always think 'I would absolutely destroy your faith'
You have ten minutes starting with this message to get here. Or I'm putting my clothes back on.
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