Having a random hookup so left but love u
The funny thing about my wife cheating on me is that the guy probably has genital warts now. Sweet.
I would say the hottest chick there looked like Susan Boyle and the ugliest like Bea Arthur
Nice use of current day folklore
id fuck shawn from boy meets world only if we could name the baby topanga.
just next time i won't let coke make me think I'm superman and drink a shit ton.
now I regret adding my aunt on facebook. she remnded me today on my wall about the importance of checking my stools for blood since I have diaherria.
remind me to tell you what i found stuck to me this morning
I just saw a license plate that said "Guidete" at college. This proves the world is officially ending in 2012
Just threw up. It looks like I may have swallowed a cigarette.
Yeah. Let's save our goodbyes for when I'm obnoxiously and embarrassingly drunk and more than likely naked.
I climbed out of the shower to him sitting on the floor trimming his pubes with nail clippers, we both just started laughing at how drunk we were
Sabotage it. Cum quick. Make it awkward so you don't hurt her feelings. Who says nice guys finish last?
He gives me the same feeling I get when someone puts a margarita or German chocolate cake in front of me
Idk how much of a virgin he is but I'm tryna find out.
I texted her that I burned my tongue drinking coffee so it hurt to talk or kiss... How many points do I get for doing her without talking or making out first?
Randomize
