he just put it in my mouth and said "go"
I wonder what it would be like to go to the dry cleaners and not have to inform them that all my clothes are stained with booze.
The freshman came home at 9 this morning with one heel, no pants, and a strangers sweatshirt covered in tequila-scented vomit. I think we're done corrupting her for a while.
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but my underwear and it was on backwards and my entire body is too sore to move...
Im glad someone is finally more of a drunken slut than I am.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just ordered an appetizer sampler to distract the fat chicks so we can escape
the water pistols in the freezer are full of voddka.
thats the 2nd threesome ive been accused of this week
cracked out the beer snorkel again. that thing has a five for five record of getting me naked.
The girl beside me at the laundromat is bitching a guy out on the phone for jizzing on her bedspread. She had to use a triple machine to wash it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
High school girls are buying me shots. This will not end well.
The guy who was The Count on Sesame Street died this week too. Therefore, you should take multiple shots, count them, & go "ahh aaahh aaaahhh" after each one. I expect video...
Goodbye spring break, hello depressing video on AIDS.
Honestly, if you can handle putting socks on you can handle a condom.
If we tried baptizing you I feel the water would start boiling around you.
We made a pact to go to the nursing home together... that way we could stay high till the bitter end. Do you not remember?
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