Haha no. But I cannot hook up with you anymore. Especially when you group text people.
Don't bone anyone, just think of ur vibrator lol
HHaaaaaaaaa mmmmn vibrator
His little brother walked in on us. Six times.
Sorry but i am wayy to hungover to take mom to her AA meeting.
Wont she be proud, Hailey.
1 be hot 2 flirt with everyone 3 use hotness to make people do things for you. It's a simple model.
By the end of the night I was using him as a leg rest and he was handing me pizza rolls when I wiggled my hand. It's a proven method.
My sister was not impressed when she got here. I was standing in the doorway in my underwear drinking a beer. At 2pm. On a Monday.
Bring your friend that fell asleep in the bathroom for my friend.
Drank a beer through my butt, how's your initiation going?
i only stock magnum condoms so if the guy i bring home doesn't fit in them he only gets to eat me out. no exceptions.
There's a stripper getting there at 10 though so hopefully I'm out before the stripper gets there. I don't have time to deal with a stripper.
But forealz I'm gonna need a solid 52 orgasms so hydrate.
He's hot....knda sweaty, drunk smells like feet....but he's hung like a whale....so in other words totally your type
This is like a walk of shame down memory lane.
His exact words: "I don't have anything you can't treat with antibiotics."
I was running because his wife invited me to join them on their kinky Vegas weekend. Crossing state lines is too much commitment for me.
Randomize
