This girls' body was nothing short of spectacular...her face, was like the '09 Detroit Lions
i just saw a girl w/ a shirt that said "im the single friend." yeah i bet u r. stop wearing shirts like that and that could change.
Omg. The strippers are having a batman vs spiderman showdown. Both on stage. Genius.
wait a second... your telling me you want me to take you to the bank at 10 on a tuesday so you can buy a blow up pool and fill it with beer?
yes... and buy you lunch
I just bought a vibrating toothbrush with my parents FSA insurance card because I'm too broke for a vibrator. New.Level.Of.Low.
I may have been hammered and in a wheelchair but I definitely remember asking the hospital reseptionist to marry me
Literally getting boned by my flask right now. I didn't really think about this whole sneaking past security in a skin tight dress.
I feel like i just got chewed up and shit out by a ukranian midget
We should have a bouncer at the top of our stairs asking the guys we bring home for ID...
I went limp when I heard her mom fart from her parents bedroom. It lasted longer than my hard on.
Her weave came out on the dance floor. She was twerking and shaking one minute and her hair flew across the dance floor the next. Great way to be introduced to the family
It's settled. One of us is going to bang her brother. The world demands justice and he's hot. We'll be the justice league if it were made of alcoholic whores
He fucked me on the hood of my car outside his work, and now I'm paranoid that the doggie day care next door might have security cameras.
So you broke your ribs while fucking? Dude you just got about 25% hotter.
Stereotypically, lax bros last the longest, but have huge egos that are annoying. Baseball players barely last 10mins, but are really nice. And than we have soccer players, last long and have no egos. Me and my friends have collected our findings.
Randomize
