I just got really nervous and swallowed all of my birth control
Reindeer Drinking Games will soon commence. Get over here while we're still sober enough to answer the door.
He snuck into some random hotel's continental breakfast at 3 AM and then passed out on a bench in the lobby. When the cops found him they made him empty out his pockets. No phone, no ID just muffins.
Dude dan is so baked he taped his remote to the futon so he couldn't lose it again. Come over here
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She just pulled out a chicken strip and a hundred dollar bill from her purse. This is a legit twentyfirst bday weekend.
Ok just don't go to jail. I saw your account balance. It can't take that.
I really appreciate you zipping up my pants at the bar. You didn't even ruin my Bermuda triangle.
She was covered in mud grabbed my crotch and said see that handprint that means I called dibs
I think I just asked the Greek gyro guy on a yoga date.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm starting to think I didn't bring enough liquor for this family Christmas.
It's 2 pm....
Dude, she got "I party too much" skinny. She looks like a recovering drug addict.
Is 36 too old to fuck a college student? THIS IS BOTH IMPORTANT AND TIME SENSITIVE
So what's your itinerary for Amsterdam?
Show up, get drunk, get laid, try not to miss my flight home.
She used a candle as a shot glass.. A FUCKING CANDLE BRO!!
The only words I could make out were "Dicksmash McIroncock".
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