Nothing is worse than puking naked in front of strangers
So what's the moral of this story? Aside from 'lesbians hold grudges'?
My 54 year old father just sent me a YouTube link on my school email titled "Walrus sucks his own dick" and then wrote in the email "I wish I were a walrus". What the fuck is wrong with my family?
Apparently I'm the guy that didn't get the memo that Afliction and wifebeaters were the proper attire for tonight... so I'll just sit here alone in my sweatervest and be judged.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The magic cards should have been the first clue. The comments that I have "amazing birthing hips" and that I'm "beautiful in a child bearing sort of way just sealed his fate.
I think rescheduling my finals around when Im going to be hungover is responsible
We pretended the crowd cheering the Thunder's win was cheering for us while we had sex on the couch.
Part of me really wants this picture, but the other part of me knows if he is really this drunk, he could be sodomizing a lamp and not know it
Is it a coincidence that the reminder on my phone to take my birth control is "I'm ready to party" from Bridesmaids?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She said she was hoping I'd be hotter. I told her I didn't see anybody standing in line to titty fuck her either. She was a great kisser.
I knew it was on when all she had to say about the handcuffs was 'I really hope these adjust tighter!'
I have a tab of a google image search of onion rings open and it is making me so happy.
Homeboy just asked me to strip for him. He should not be this horny and allowed to be in Vegas with his kid.
IT'S FUCKING BABY SEASON ON FACEBOOK. MY VAGINA WANTS TO THROW UP
the good news is I finally used my captain america waffle maker to make captain america waffles
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