you haven't felt a hangover until you wake up after a night of snorting tequila.
Just found cake in my bra, debating if I should eat it
All the girls at the party had American flag thongs on... Pretty impressed with coordination seeing as how impromptu this event was
Mission get my tooth back and find a new dick to ride starts after i sleep for the first time in 2 days.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Got my bloodwork back and my liver is in tip top shape. Apparently blacking out 5 nights a week isn't cutting it, so we've got to step it up until I see that all of my hard work is actually paying off and doing some damage.
I don't want to get into details but it feels like there was a bear mauling involved. A very good bear mauling.
MAYDAY. glass in foot, have crush on guy with mullet.life is over.
I'm going home because your Crackraptor step-brother tried getting his nasty meat hawks in my pants last night.
Someone drunkenly cleaned and organized my car last night... Nothing's missing, so that's a plus.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So after I fell off 4 times we concluded I'm not allowed to ride him anymore.
Also my roomate used some of my condoms so she gave me her hummus. Great trade
I was doing good, then they gave me free shots
my life is like one bad, slutty lifetime movie.
my goldfish that i got the day i lost my virginity just died. im terrified as to what this symbolically means for my sex life
I hate when I'm sexting and I make a typo.
You just killed the sext mood.
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