Do you still like to have your hair pulled?
No, I never liked having my hair pulled. I think you have me confused.
you should buy a sheep. A) you get an awesome pet. B) free coat
jungle juice + heels + stairs = broken arm
had a convo with my professor before class while peeing... new level of awkward or a breakthrough in our relationship? i feel like there is no longer a professional boundary.
That still doesn't explain why you thought it was a good idea to paint a cow on my guitar
Woke up on the floor holding a sandwich. Shots. Never again.
Found a beard hair in my crotch.... care to explain?
when you wake up in a apartment hallway wearing someone else's shoes, you can pretty much assume last night was a success.
Why can't I hire someone to teach me how to be a decent human being?
Her virginity is one of the last things that remains of our childhood.
I can't even masturbate anymore!! That was my last source of cardio!!
I hate that we are older than the real world people now
T minus 20 hours until we forget our names, find some city cowboys, and g&t into the night.
The shrooms have turned on carrie. Change of plans. We're getting stoned and finding bacon.
Hey when you get home, can you do me a solid and throw one of your pregnancy tests on my bed?
EPT or First Response?
Randomize
