I definitely ripped a mole off of her back in the process
I wish life was like the Sims. Right when you're pregnant the music would play and I would just know instead of agonizing for the next two weeks.
My roomate just said the he would "tap dat" to the 13 out of control girl on maury. Im finding a new place in the morning.
Tiger Woods should have just walked in, gave everyone a high five, and left.
I like that most of our conversations somehow end in us having sex for the good of our country
this will be a night to untag.
Lesson of the night: never take shots out of a bottle you found under a couch in a frat house. I have no idea where I am
GUESS WHO GOT ABSOLUTELY WASTED LAST NIGHT AND SPENT AN HOUR RAMBLING ABOUT KRAFT DINNER, HOCKEY, AND THE LAST TEMPTATION OF CHRIST
You need to stop thinking about the needs of your vagina and concentrate on the greater good
we managed to melt a few different forms of plastic into the cannibutter....
I woke up this morning next to my computer with Google search results for "how to put out a fire."
I'm very scared to turn around.
You can come over but I have to warn you that it is naked Sunday.
Would you like to get a drink then hook up or reverse order I don't really care. Hopefully you can keep this between us.
Can you see if my straightener is in your refrigerator?
Yes. Its here..
you should just get a floor plan of your dorm and start checking off rooms.
Randomize
