is this the sara with the beer cane?
the problem with having sex for lunch when its 98 degrees outside is that I can't tell if its sweat or semen running down my leg as I walk back in the office
I feel like I can hear facebook. What did we smoke?
1 be hot 2 flirt with everyone 3 use hotness to make people do things for you. It's a simple model.
By the end of the night I was using him as a leg rest and he was handing me pizza rolls when I wiggled my hand. It's a proven method.
Im the macgyver of cooling down beers. The toilet tank was blocked so I couldn't use it.....
The usual, im laying out. Ipod on shuffle, Large spray bottle to cool myself of and a smaller one filled with chilled vodka. I can spray the vodka right in my mouth without even opening my eyes. THIS IS LIVING....
Actually it's really just going to be me drunk in your living room swinging from a pole on a tuesday morning.
When / where did the additional couches appear?
Additional?
James brought one with him when he showed up. Theres still 2 outside and according to facebook, at least one more burned up.
My nonexistent future grandchildren will one day ask me when I knew I'd lost control of my life. And now I know.
Sometimes I really think that if... When your stoned you have a catlike ability to just relax in any position
at one point, i told him to buy you a pumpkin spice latte and uggs because you're a common white girl and that's how he should get you in bed
Best day ever, my junk is bigger than Kate Uptons boyfriends. Yay for Fappening day!
at that point, I wouldn't blame you because I'd be so ashamed I couldnt even have sex with myself.
Glitter fights sound a lot funner in theory.
You sluts I'm so proud of you. You're both wearing underwear.
Randomize
