found POGS while I was cleaning my room this morning. Definitely bringing them back to school to turn into a drinking game.
I told him we couldn't have sex because I was ovulating and "I come from fertile people."
We had sex on the hood of my car and broke the windshield.
The family from the blindsided came and talked to us last night. The dad owns 68 taco bells. You would have been so inspired
i figure i've seen his cum stains on the floor, i'm allowed to say these things.
I woke up to her staring at me in a corner moaning over and over again about how good the pie crust tasted
I would just watch. I wouldn't even have a boner cuz I would do so much coke. It would just be funny.
gay flight attendant. racoons. kegels. bartender with missing teeth. too many birthdays. fucckk.
I blacked out after you got about 8 goldfish out of the tank and put them in your pockets. We're not allowed back. It was a sucky Walmart anyway...
The novelty of Nekkid Straight Roommate has faded.
Do you still have "be bumpin" written on your ass in glitter pen? Who brings a glitter pen to a bar? Or pulls there ass out for that matter...
I'm so confused as to where the sexual euphemisms end and the drinking starts
Been trying to fuck him since december. Finally got him into bed and he was uncircumcised. Why do bad things happen to good people?
I broke a rule
Which One?!
The one where I shouldn't sleep with your friends. I broke this particular rule 4 times.
You're officially the worst brother ever.
ok morning sex is a totally valid reason to come in late... ur good, cya in 20
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