i'd rather walk the sahara in a snuggie with no water than take a bicycle cab
It's like sexual therapy. We hooked up. And now were talking about our recent breakups.
Emoooo
It'd be like medium rare by now.
I love how we're talking about your vagina like it's a piece of meat.
Parents said they were cutting off my AmEx card. So I immediately went up to the liquor store and purchased $550 of booze before it was canceled. I'm expecting your arrival in 30 minutes.
Whoever brought the pigeon, please come and remove it from my living room.
So it sounded like a midget was barfing IN our walls again this morning ...
I keep confusing the name of her and her dog. Both are appropriate.
I seriously had to check my phone this morning to make sure I didn't agree to any strange sexual favors.
It would be like a dance party with a dick inside you. I think that's what Ke$ha wants for the world.
An we can hold bottles of vodka in our hands singing yo ho a pirates life for me
I think I'm making a tradition of going to every funeral with at least one sex-related bruise. I don't know how this happened.
I never saw such an emotional argument over yellow vs. spicy mustard.
She wanted to get out of there before you guys woke up so she wouldn't let me find my underwear. Lol So I apologize to whoever finds that in your room.
She ripped her shorts off and yelled "VAGINA TIME!"
My new superpower is making fuckboys disappear!
Bending dicks and egos since 2002
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