i mean i cnt help that this campus has the highest STI rate
'hiiiigh' is saved in my t9 for a reason
you kept begging me not to tell anyone you had been a bat in another life
Took it a bit far last night. While leaving his house, I sent myself a text that said, 'you're still pretty"
there's a girl in the coffee shop just eating a pint of ben & jerry's
SMART GIRL
So after this weekend I think I'm gonna go down on one knee and propose to my boyfriend that he give me his liver.
I ran into a hotel and told the doorman he was doing a great job. That was before you cried on my jacket.
You're 31, how do you still outdrink all these college kids?
Practice, Irish genes, and a lack of desire to live past 40. But mostly practice.
Just got tinder matched with my COMM TA. Game on.
I did way too many drugs this past week for having a broken nose #commitment
I went to Walmart last night to buy some CDs--which is a sentence I never thought I'd say in 2016.
I'm sorry, I'm tired, I can't play long distance cockblock anymore. Good night don't get too pregnant.
may or may not have entered into a gay civil rights discussion with 6 year olds. Hint: I did.
Did you come home, throw out a ton of shoes, then leave again?
That is exactly what I did.
Probably not. Getting pulled over and puking my guts out on the side of the road in front of the cop and him making fun of me, was not my finest moment. Plus I lost my debit card.
Randomize
