Its way too early to be sitting naked at his dining room table...
On a scale of 1 to 10 how hot is the girl you're about to fuck?
Strong 6
That's an oxymoron.
He asked me to touch his mustache. Should I go home with him?
chinese tourists just took a picture of me....im pretty sure i heard the bus drive say something about shame.
sometimes i wish i was a boob, they get to chill in soft and cuddly little cup things.
We got three kegs and a backhoe. Now taking bets on what charges we end up getting arrested for. Will need bail money.
oh my god. separately texting an Allie and an Ally while drunk is hard, and I'm climbed 1/2 way up a bridge pier.
No no no no no no.... That's my emergency bottle for when I realize I've hit rock bottom
But I mean, have you ever just LOOKED at how majestic penises are? They are like ivory columns of pure wonder!
Trying to put a fitted sheet on drunk is one of the boss levels of slutty adulthood.
I miss my bedroom and my bed and being able to spray myself with my choice of 15 different perfumes so I don't have to wake up to the smell of my past sins
Are we DOING anything for lunch...if sex is involved, let's just be straight forward and stop wasting the first half hour! We just need to get to the point
Is it disrespectful or patriotic to pole dance on an american flag pole?
I can't decide which is the most disgusting: emily having sex on the stairwell of a frat, michelle shaving her vagina with a razor she found in a frat bathroom, or me getting fingered on the dance floor by some rando. opinions?
If he didn’t pick us up we would have been jerkwards eating sad pancakes at a Denny’s.
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