I swear to God, I saw my life flash between my legs.
she said it was ok for her to take her top off in the hot tub but she didn't take off her bottoms because that would be slutty
I feel that the whole multiple orgasm thing is god's way of saying "sorry for the childbirth deal"
Just heard her singing at the school concert... I am honored my penis was touched by those pipes
how can i incorporate a boy scout uniform into what i do tonight?
They both told everyone they fell in a mud puddle
Oh they definetly fell in the mud, repeatedly, on top of each other
Just looked at my outgoing calls. Seems I had a 7 minute convo with my 10th grade english teacher at 2:56 am Saturday...
Idk. I'm naked in front of the computer eating ribs. All is right with the world.
That's so nerdy and hot at the same time.
I had such a pleasant walk of shame. The sun was shining, I smiled at all the high school suckers who judged me on their way to school, and I made friends with an old guy and his dog.
Also, if you all get arrested i'm coming to laugh at you because i don't have the money for bail.
Pretty sure I recall hugging our waiter from the bar last night. That also means we are NEVER going there again
I had a sex dream. With two guys. And my subconscious decided to put your dick on BOTH OF THEM. If there is a society where that does not mean "I cherish you" I do not want to live there.
my neighbors having band practice on sunday morning is a message from the universe that I should stop drinking
Going back to the ever classy sneak out to the fridge and swig liquor from the bottle method. That it is legal for me to drink here makes the fact that I have to do this all the more depressing.
Holy shit, add "successfully got stoned secretly at a party where a cop was" to my list of accomplishments.
Randomize
