I love you and miss you, which in no way dimishes how much I hate the person you turned out to be, but I still love and miss you.
we're at the bar and some girl dropped a bottle of burnettes strawberry vodka out of her purse and it broke.
i mean, if that's not class, then i don't know what is
This girl wants me to lick her pits
pits??
Yeah pits, I think I still go for it though
I found a knife in my bed when I got back this morning. I think one of my roommates has it in for me
dont touch anything in my room. If its phallus shaped, i can almost guarantee its been in my vagina.
Apparently i was peeing on things and marking my territory. I broke their light socket too. Needless to say im banned from their apartment.
Ironically her ferret's toys look like her sex toys.....this is a whole new level of kinky for me
So the bartender just told me that there was numerous people who saw me having sex on the rooftop last weekend. +1
I was just wished a Happy Valentine's Day by the (Mexican) Chinese food delivery guy. I've never had clearer "get your life together" message than that.
Just made macaroni burritos. Fukkin awesome. We'll have to try this when I'm sober.,!
I'm not drinking anymore...and by that, I mean until St. Patrick's Day.
No longer allowed at circus circus apparently fuvking in the elevator is frowned upon.
Recycling day makes me feel more like an alcoholic than regular days.
but I truly enjoy making out with my best friend more than my boyfriend
ill drive you to the airport today if we can have sex first
i left yesterday
ill pick you up from the airport on sunday if we can have sex after
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