Come with me and I'll find you a girl. What's your type?
Vagina
i can't wait to kiss dudes with my vampire teeth in.
when i asked what day 420 fell on this year, she answered so quickly i knew i found my soulmate.
also, I just found three random bruises on my knee. probably from when I was velcrod to the stairs
So I've gone into the break room to heat up a styrofoam cup 8 times over the course of 4 hours.. that desperate to see him. Now I have a broken heart AND cancer.
You are not about to raise that baby deer, you can BARELY raise yourself... Return it to it's mom now.
Between the dance party in the car and the distraction of the momma bear and two cubs im a cops wet dream roght now when comes to wreckless driving.
I just want to know who nailed the chicken nugget to the door.
I got shot at today. If that doesn't get me at least a blow job I give up working on the south side
Well it was tamer than the 4th of july when I blew that guy I met walking home from the fireworks
Found out people don't like it when you get drunk at fundraising auctions and bid in foreign currencies.
A 74 year old man offered to let me sleep on his pull out couch last night.
I started a USA chant at the bar last night for no reason, other than being plastered. Within 15 seconds, I was standing on a table and the whole bar was chanting but nobody knew why.
I'n not even sure we went out, but I know we broke into a cemetery.
The moral of the story is this:the last shot of the night is always a mistake
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