I couldn't remember if it was hamsters or Iraq that you hated. I'm so sorry.
She started doing push ups and calling me a pussy. Never set me up with your ROTC friends again.
maybe next time you shouldn't be drinking alone watching intervention at 3 am and no one would think you needed an intervention.
Do you think the Slutcracker will use the original score? I'll be so sad if they don't.
She was giving you that "I really want to blow you but I have to act professional" look. Guaranteed
So I am just swinging blind here, but I am guessing that blood in your sinus is not ideal
There was a community pot of Ramen, and if you were in the pool you were either fully clothes or ass naked.
I'm drinking beergaritas with a dog who is high and a baby
your completely serious
I've been ignoring his texts cause last night I put him in my phone as 'ignore for atleast a day' and I trust my drunk self.
Remind me tomorrow that I was taking shots of burnetts in the subway line while placing my order
I think ill wear my dads dashiki but make it sluttier. We shall see
Lol i have proven this trip that I can meet a chick and fuck her within 72 hours no matter where she lives
Why is there no Netflix category for "I just wanna cry, but I don't have time for a whole romcom"?
...I think I just watched a boy make a sandwich seductively. What.
So last night was the first of "I got cut off before I walked in the bar".
Randomize
