Good. You are like the clit whisperer.
I tried to pay my bar tab with my gym membership card. Twice.
i have no idea who im with but someones making meatballs. im going to stay.
so we had a 20 minute conversation and created the fb page WWND (what would Nana do?) last night after we took our Ambien...that is my definition of an overachiever
The last shot i remember taking was toasted to "love, sex, and magic". Needless to say I was 0 for 3 on that toast for the night.
NEWS FLASH: A bottle of wine can fit into a taco bell cup.
Just took a final in the room where I lost my virginity. I think it was god luck.
just ran into a kid I used to hook up with while wearing his shirt. Only me. I tried to pretend like it wasn't his but it said his name on the back so I wasn't winning that.
It started with jello shots. It ended with tears.
I smell like icyhot and vodka... Heres to my pulled tendon.
Just resonded to a booty call with "how much effort is required on my part?" I think I've finally reached the point of smoking too much pot
Jenn from HR called him the new office boy toy. I think I need to bathe in bleach.
a guy just skateboarded past my window in a bunny suit while chased by a dog walker
so is it socially acceptable to send her an "i got my man back you whore" card?
To be fair, this is a tequila-while-rewatching-Benedict-Cumberbatch-as-Van-Gogh idea, so I don't know if it will hold up tomorrow.
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