Until that no good dick sucking whore stays away from my boyfriend I am gonna start blowing all of his friends...
great time with ya sorry i wasn't one of the three guys you wanted to stay with
ok now this is the second time he's reffered to recieving a blow job as 'getting his pee pee sucked'
I'm at the point in my career when i know a sites a trap and isn't real porn
He really likes Obama...and Bill Clinton too. He said "I mean, how many presidents can say that they got head in the oval office?"
Soulmates.
strippers are much less mysterious after you sleep with them
then you put baby powder on the bottom of your feet and walked to your room so "ladies would follow the footprints"
i am breaking up with you. because you wash your hair too much and you only drink light beer and because you're not party enough.
I just got hard thinking about a crunch wrap. Im done
He came into the hospital yelling "HEY EVERYBODY! REMEMBER ME?"
Find me a date. With a beard. I want him to rub his beard on my tits. I'm not even into that stuff but I think it'd be so warm.
I have a surprise for you
Is it drugs? I want drugs. Or a puppy!
If my dick was big enough to fuck the eye of a hurricane, I would.
Only I could dislocate my ribcage coaching volleyball and still want to get drunk tonight.
I'm very disappointed that your kitten almost ate my weed cake...
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