and I asked her"are you allergic to condoms latex like your older sister " she said "Idk this is gonna be my 1time"
True life I used my fake as a photo id for my final. My professor told me good luck and laughed. Hope the bouncers are in the St. Patrick's day spirit.
We're upstairs smoking....the password is pineapple
So i was told that i peed in the sink, had sex with a pillow and banged on a washer while singing idian chants
she just made some guy spank her... then made some chick take a running start and spank her.
You missed practice last night. You owe at least 8 hours of liver sprints.
Apparently william has a "couch montage"...an album of facebook photos of himself on different couches in various states of happiness and despair. A heartwrenching journey through what was clearly a significant part of his life. I'd mock him more but I think the fact that I looked through it means he's already won
But the ghost of his schlong past haunts you
WE COULD TOTALLY DO ECSTASY AND GO TO THAT CAT SHELTER OFF OF BROADWAY.
I almost itched my nose with the lit end of a cigarette. Help.
The dude at Coffee Bean just handed me my tea latte and whispered, "pomegranate blueberry is such a sexy flavor". With a wink. I'm almost certain that there's an STD floating around in my drink.
I WOULD NEVER MIX DICK AND MCDONALDS
I don't know how to say "Sorry I was banging your boyfriend before I knew about you but you're awesome and we should hang out." without just saying it.
I'm pretty sure that cute cop drove me home. Especially since I found his card in my purse.
Blunts beyotch
What? Joints? Blunts?
I'll refer you to my previous text: "Blunts beyotch"
Randomize
