I got wasted for the 1st time and I sat in a fridge for 2 hours and a trash can?
this is two weekends in a row I've been the pantsless girl at the party. I love my social life.
My therapist said that she thinks i may have a sex addiction. I think she may be a terrible therapist.
Want me to drive you to Dr. Drew's sex rehab?
Nah, cause then i cant masturbate to that show anymore.
due to concerns over safety, the theme of the 'naked fondue party' has now been changed to the 'naked fondue party with optional apron' please b.y.o.apron. extra prizes for most creative apron.
Now one day I will be able to tell my children how a drag queen in a gay bar told mommy that bin laden was dead
i don't care if its just a preseason game, my pick up a guy and suck him off in the bathroom skills are in midseason form
I will be sticking my dick in something this weekend. You can either be that something or not. Your decision.
Last thing I remember clearly was, "ok, but if we're are gonna get drunk before class, there's no half-doing this"
So this 40 year old woman was trying to bring me into the bathroom to blow me and the bartender called the cops on her because she was showing her tits. Only in asbury.
to instagram or to not instagram the picture i took of when i shit in the urinal
...I think i just fell in love with a random undergrad at first glance. He was the awkward young adult version of captain hook. Dear god i need to get off this campus.
My mom just gave me my fake back to buy her more wine.
pretty sure tht was the guy who once went to the club dressed as waldo. he still looks weirdly fuckable.
after the ketamine those signs on the bathroom door had little meaning to us
this old people party is bangin. they have apple cider with everclear in it
Randomize
