like what am i supposed to say "im thinking of how bad that sex was"?
I queefed so loud it echoed.
we did rock-paper-scissors to see who would find out if you had alcohol poisoning
We went to his house and he brought a jar of pickles to bed. I think im in love.
New policy: when a woman uses the word blowjob in a sentence within 5 minutes of meeting her, you buy her a drink.
Oh please tell me that I'm sleeping in your shower and not the neighbor's again
Let's cut to the chase. What days are we sleeping together this week?
He said I could pay him back in blow jobs. What's the going rate for those these days?
So I'm sitting at my desk and Thunderstruck came on my iPod. I then proceeded to drink coffee every time I heard thunderstruck. Who says you don't remember anything from college?
I was basically just fingering myself and thinking about space.
I wanna get high and watch Shrek tonight...don't make me do it alone.
I'd marry him just to keep his penis in the country
I keep finding Kraft singles in his pockets. Honestly, this is the weirdest family I've ever worked for.
Eh, I don't question what my penis likes. It just does what it does.
i was really depressed when i left the health dept this morning after i had to write a higher number next to "partners" than "age"
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