yeah i like to chase my xanax with prozac and then viagra. you're up...and then you're UP
Just saw someone buying TWO six packs of O'Doul's. WHY ??
I wish my dick could take responsibilities for his own actions
He said I was the smartest girl he had ever dated, that should have been a sign from the beginning
There was blood everywhere. She was pretty good looking person though.
I don't appreciate the fact that you tagged me as a giant bucket Miracle Whip.
I'm soaked in beer, and I think blood. Why did we think we could tap a keg with a hammer?
my parents decided to start a new christmas tradition. we will now be drinking champagne while opening presents, and we each get our own bottle
What eyeshadow color says "yes I am at the dentist, and yes I am hungover please don't judge my life choices"
He fucked me for my Netflix login, I fucked him for his HBO login, and actually I think that's beautiful
I woke up this morning to find my closet lacking 98% of my clothes and a text from my male roommate saying your dresses squeeze my genitals
I just bumped into this random I hooked up with a few years ago at Steve's party. Talk about a fingerblast from the past!
Finding my pants in the morning should not make me this proud
No. No. Fuck you! You can do your own grocery shopping.
Now I know Sunday Funday means fucking till you loose your voice.
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