If you are in NYC and not seeing anyone, you should come fucke me now because:1 i am not in love with you anymore, 2 i am drunk enough where i won't feel the n eed to kisx you awardly to avoid your beard, 3we have unfinished business that i wpn't get -assed unyil orgass have been had, 4 i really really want to
for on dont try to tell me you love me after three weeks of talking, for two if you are going to do that stay away from the song lyrics to a very good country song that you happened to ruin by using it, and for three erase my number im fuckin your sister now
Hey do you have anything at your house 30 ft. tall to throw eggs off of?
All I need is the Internet and a place to drink.
we all took turns holding you up and pretending that you were simba and that we were presenting you to the jungle
I just gave an orange Froot Loop the finger for falling on the floor instead of my mouth when I was pouring a mini box of cereal into my face.
You are the tramp this city needs, but not the one it deserves.
How about we just have a naked taco night instead?
Why are we so great
Like I'm def going to a therapist but I wouldn't change a thing about us except maybe the peeing
So last night was the first of "I got cut off before I walked in the bar".
You used his ass cheeks to demonstrate how to play the bongos and he still called you the next day. That's true love.
Like you can't just be like oh bb and THEN SEND ME A FUCKING PICTURE OF MY 8TH GRADE FAT SELF IN A TACO COSTUME
He sent me a dick pic. I am fighting the urge to send him a "sorry for your loss" card.
Even my conscience is telling me to take this Wednesday's exam buzzed.
I JUST WANT TO HAVE AWKWARD SEXUAL EXPERIENCES WITH HIM.
Randomize
