If my vag had twitter, what do you think it would say?
Dude love is like an itch. You fuckin scratch it, then it itches more, then you scratch it and it itches more, and before you know it, there is semen everywhere.
you are insane
We can add pilot to the list of people who's lives I've changed...with my penis.
HE'S turngign 18teen real soon.k
Not sure if he was actually hot or hot in a "he brought a live chicken to the party" kinda way but I got his # regardless
Just realized how sopa could affect my ability to watch porn, son of a bitch
Your grammar in that last text message was so awful.. My vagina wants to go crawl in a hole, and never speak to you again.
You should have thought about how you were going to treat me before having me take photos of your asshole.
I just sent a bad sext to my sister. There's not even a way to damage control this, is there?
Woke up naked on your sister's mattress lying next to a single slice of bread.
Well my grandma put the turkey in the oven for 4 hours and didn't have the oven on.
I got my eyebrow ring humped out. How is that even possible?
Well the good news of being walked in on, my mom says your tits are pretty. Then she added that hers were like that once. Fml
i have a strong feeling that today will be a naked day for me...i don't feel like doing shit
this is the 3rd time this week I've gone to the liquor store to stock up for the next 2 weeks
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