I drew a venn diagram at the top of my final comparing stuff i know and stuff on the test.
Ps if we're still living vicariously through each other, you had sex on a beach last night
I'm drinking vodka out of a coffee pot. and i'm not even mad about it
Yeah, but there's no serving sizes for dick.
The only reason I'd ever want a boyfriend is so that someone would spoon feed me applesauce when I'm so hungover I can't move
My dick pics could make it to the popular page on Instagram.
Just to clarify, I'm still tripping balls
On an unrelated note, I've come up with a theory of everything
i just got referred to as "the Loch Ness Cockster". God bless my Scottish heritage.
I kinda got drunk and threw my debit card into a bonfire so I don't have any money at the moment lol.
I touched the butt once. 'Twas an experience with the greatness of legend. So I touched it once more.
being serenaded is actually kind of awkward 2/10 do not reccommend
He meowed while sucking on my nipple, it got even weirder when he said he was trying to moo.
Just an FYI you do have to wear pants to lunch
I want to respect them as people, but really I just want to have sex with them.
Double-fisting ice cream and wine. Do not send help.
Randomize
