dude, you're being a jerk.
sorry, didn't mean to pull a Cheney
I wish they had nachos that got you drunk
i hate always having to make my eye shadow look really good since my eyes always end up closed by the end of the night in pics
Of course I'm hard in the pics. If there's a chance that these pictures will cause a scandal later in my life I at least want my dick to look it's biggest
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The couple that wants to take me home just paid the bartender $100 to pour tequila down my throat. I think I'm in some type of twilight zone where stds run rampant and the alcohol floweth
I told him that he was essentially a very life-like dildo with a person attached so he needed to stop having feelings because it was getting annoying. He agreed.
I found him stumbling up to our building with a solo cup under his arm. . . He told me it was his favourite thing ever. He also told me hes never been drunk before.
Also, I guess I made friends with the guy who caught me peeing behind a bush.
It's gay softball weekend. Lots of hot gay strangers to go home with.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was afraid someone would drug test my pants so you set them on fire.
You fell asleep on the toilet and he was like uh should I take her off?
Woke up this morning with fake blood all over my bed which is a positive considering last year it was all real blood
If drinking had a "new high score" I think I hit it this weekend.
Also. Picked being late to work over the maid finding my vibrator. Life choices....
Don't get yourself off tomorrow. We. Are. Having. Sex. That's that. Just dont do it.
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