yeah worst sex in my life. plus i think her little brother was in the room.
She threw up in my garbage can last night and walked home with it this morning so she could clean it out...
She is dropping it off on the way to the bar at 7.
I just negotiated a blow job for an interview.
I just threw up trying to put pants on. This is obviously a sign to stay naked.
I'm playing a little game called "how many shots of jack can I take before I become a shit show tonight". All front row seats are sold out.
Check out this gay circle: I've now hooked up with my ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend, and most recently my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend's ex-fling.
Why the hell did you invite him? He's gonna bring two more inches of dick and zero fun.
Sounds good. I will just get tanked here and wear this batman mask.
Kripsy Kremes at our place, bring your own coffee. And your own donuts because these ones are ours.
I want Walter White to make me a bologna sandwich while I'm chained to a support
I woke up at like 4 am with an old Korean woman cuddling me. I assure you she was not there when I went to sleep.
I think I'm gonna cut my hair just so I stop waking up with semen in it
I just wanna suck his dick on my balcony ya know
I swear to god, no guy has been as interested in sticking stuff up my butt as this girl
Long story short wrist restraints, Apple Watch and cumming all don’t mix
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