This is your Morning Wood Report: I have it.
i think blowjobs on the first date are perfectly acceptable. as long as you dont go dick to mouth.
im just going to superglue mistletoe to my forehead and see what happens
just bailed mom out of jail. Tell me i'm not the favorite child
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
hey..i found a takeout box with a half-eaten hamburger in it, the box said to text this number if found...
I just want a box on franzia all to myself. Just me, my wine, my tears, & my self loathing.
she blew me in the men's room in the restaurant. it was a french bistro, so it was okay
Fastest blow job ever. Though it was probably a good thing since we were in front of my house.
he just asked me for a tag team. like at least let me get changed out of your roommates clothes from last night first...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
But mostly the blowjob in the airport bathroom was what I was laughing at.
No judgement. Sometimes you gotta twerk on a legends face.
I hooked up with a blind guy last night... he's clapping in order to find his way around our apartment
The list of people who didn't throw up last night is insanely smaller than the list of people who did
So it was a successful night I take it?
I wouldn't have found her if it wasn't for the vomit trail leading into my brother's room.
Listen, yo... we need to have a serious conversation about this Dollar Store toilet paper. Because if I’m going to finger someone’s ass, it’s not going to be my own.
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