my mother and i just seriously had a convorsation about why you cant Google "Refurbished Dildos"
if by 'bottleservice' you mean 'bringing beers in my purse' then yes, we are.
i called her out for picking her nose in public and he still wonders why i don't like her!
just heard someone say they saw a guy puke while riding a bike across campus without stopping
I wish I still had pics from the prostitute I paid/dated
level of my singleness - just ate a whole pizza topless in bed.
we went to the bar with our boss and you tried to play a song from the atm machine
It was like the titanic mixed with those sad puppy commercials mixed with jello shots
And by defning the relationship I mean telling him I'm gonna fuck other people but its cool If he does the same.
The word cocktail makes me want to rip my liver out and nail it to a cross.
You kept saying you only wanted to drink until you were sleepy. You succeeded if "sleepy" means you sleepied around with 4/6 of the guys there.
I'm happy in my shell. My shell which consists of keeping guys in the friend zone and me masturbating...
So he got the TA job but i told him its not official until we have a quickie on his desk. He offered to break into his office. He doesnt start until this fall.
I need you to be best friend brutally honest about whether or not I can go into public like this.
Some guy walking down the sidewalk just looked at me and said "hey it's the world champ". How drunk was I on Friday...?
Randomize
