So I just opened the bag you gave me and those panties aren't mine...
oh
I don't know. The next thing I remember we were in the walmart parking lot making out.
She put her phone in her underwear and it somehow managed to work it's way into her vagina. she has a BLACKBERRY.
This guy just brought his piggy bank into the bar with him. Talk about corruption of childhood.
he told me he had a problem with me going both ways. like what the fuck. what guy says that to a girl? goodbye planned threesomes...
Theres just something about looking at pictures of your dick in church that doesn't feel right
Sometimes I wish I could open my skin and just take a little peek at my liver. You know, just to see if it's rotten yet or still perfect looking.
I cried and ate like 6 tacos in the taco bell parking lot at almost midnight, sober, alone, listening to a demi lavato cd. And that was the good part.
It's official, there's a sex tape of me floating around some high school
Its official the day you get back into town we are having a going away to jail party for me. My last wish before prison is to shit faced drunk with you, get into a fist fight, and then cuddle up and fall asleep. Just like old times <3
As a matter of fact, I am on the treadmill with the Bottle of UV Blue as we speak.....
What if we made a bunch of weed butter and then poured the butter into tiny rectangular molds and then chilled it so it was solid again and then wrapped it with the tin foil wrapping from restaurant butter and then left them at restaurants and wreaked utter havoc.
Basically one minute I'm sucking on her nipples and then 45 mins later we're at work and she's my boss.
he was Irish, I had to have sex with him.
I’m also apparently a very socialist drunk now
Instead of a horny one. All I want to fuck is capitalism these days.
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