You're a big dope. Life is about fighting for what you want, not accepting what you hate.
Why does tequilla always make you text me?
i can't wait to kiss dudes with my vampire teeth in.
My three rules on what I'm wearing tonight. Something short, something see through, and something i had sex in.
come to Starbucks. I'm the fat girl eating a whole pizza sitting on the ground
after I lost so many games of beer pong they made me be a troll, I sat under the table and told riddles while retrieving balls.
I made Mark strip for me and do a stripper dance. I put 2 dollars in his mouth
Either your boy toy or the kid who pulled a knife on me in high school is here
We laughed. We cried. We came everywhere.
Wanna get really high and go on a Valentine's Day Sexathon cause we're both single or would that be weird?
Boys should be on-demand - like, once you select one, he's yours for the next 24-hours
I was THIS CLOSE. But drunk me wanted to play those washboard abs with a spoon, like an actual washboard. Apparently that hurts, so I just squished it out at home alone.
I didn't punch him it was just love coming out of my fist
but if we have a President Trump come Tuesday, I might throw myself off the Walt Whitman Bridge so Thursday might not work for me after all.
There is a man in my bed with "new zealand" tattooed on his back. Wtf happened last night?
Remember that time I came to London for 4 hours, got hammered, cried for an hour and then left.
Randomize
